Coach Kalpna

Worry Wart Vs Worry Warrior!

A really good friend of mine is feeling disillusioned, desperate, down, demoralised…to mention just a few of her emotions.

She’s got a lot going on at the moment. She’s trying to start-up her business, maintain a good balanced family life, be a supportive partner mixed in with a bunch of general I-want-to-be-a-better-person aspirations that take her time, energy and effort. She describes herself as Drained. I asked her what was the primary cause of this and it transpired that she seemed to be “worried all the time”. No wonder she’s drained!

Worrying zaps your energy levels. Ever woken up from 8 hours sleep and still felt as though you could sleep through the day? It’s probably because whilst you’ve been sleeping your brain has been worrying. It’s exhausting!

There are lots of things that you can do to try and ease your worries. Practical things like planning your time and working towards small, well-defined goals and reclaiming back your control. But none of these things are really effective until you’ve addressed your worries head-on.

When I explained this to my friend, her gut reaction was “but that’s quite worrying!”

And she’s right. It is worrying.  You may find that once you confront your worries you unravel things that you didn’t know that you were worried about. At best, they’ll be worries that are unnecessary and time-consuming or at worst, they will be valid worries that need addressing. Question is, is it better to know what you’re dealing with and take steps to deal with it, or worry for the sake of worrying?

Most people, like my friend, agree that it’s best to know what the worries are so that you can get on with tackling the concerns and making things better. The first place to start is to find someone you trust to talk to. Make sure it’s going to be someone who is going to listen and be supportive. If you need someone who is going to be positive - find that person. Maybe you need someone who will listen without saying a word - agreed, easier said than done, but if you think hard enough I’m sure you’ll think of someone who would support you in this way. If you’re determined to make positive changes in your life, find a coach who will support and listen to you without judgement.

Once you’ve confronted your worries and you know where you stand you’ll start to feel a little more in control. There’s a reoccurring connection between worry and control. You will find yourself starting to feel better once you have regained a small amount of control. On the subject of worry, just knowing what you’re worried about and the impact that it has on your life will give you a sense of control. It’s from this place of power that you can begin to make changes and help to eliminate those worries altogether.

It’s not as simple as just knowing what your worries are for them to no longer zap your energy. You need to invest time and energy in changing the things that you worry about. I’m a big believer of doing things in baby-steps thus making a little progress regularly.

There’s a long journey to be taken to eliminate all worries. A couple of important things to remember:

1)   Worry is a good indicator of something not being “right”. Sounds obvious doesn’t it? An indicator is really useful, but until you do something about it, it will continue to stay with you and warn you. Heed the suggestions above and you’ll find worry begin to ease.

2)   You don’t have to be fire fighting all the time. Give yourself some control in your life so that the worries don’t drag you down. Maybe you decide on allocating a certain amount of time each week to an activity you like or taking a class. It need not be anything really big, just deciding on when you’ll take time out to relax or giving yourself the guiltless freedom to watch your favorite television programme regularly can help you to maintain calm and control.

We all have a Worry Wart inside of us. Confront your worries and begin to control them and you’ll be well on your way to warrioring through your worries!

Yours,

Coach Kalpna